Boundaries in the Event of Sensory Overload: Supporting Regulation and Respect
Image by Michael Dziedzic
Many children, particularly those who are neurodivergent, experience sensory overload in ways that can be difficult for others to understand. Sensory overload occurs when the brain receives more input from the senses than it can process. For some children, it’s bright lights. For others, it’s overlapping sounds, unexpected touch, the texture of clothing, or too many people talking at once. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, it’s not a matter of choice or behaviour—it’s a sign that the child’s internal resources are depleted.
As adults supporting children, whether as parents, educators, therapists or caregivers, it’s vital to understand not only how to recognise sensory overload, but also how to create and maintain healthy boundaries that protect a child’s well-being. These boundaries don’t just help the child experiencing overwhelm—they also promote understanding and safety for everyone involved.
What Sensory Overload Might Look Like
Children experiencing sensory overload may show signs that are misinterpreted as "challenging behaviour": shutting down, covering their ears, fleeing the room, becoming non-verbal, lashing out, or crying without clear cause. These reactions are often protective, not intentional.
Importantly, sensory overload can look different depending on the child. Some become withdrawn, quiet, or frozen. Others become loud, agitated, or physically reactive. Recognising these signs early is the first step in supporting healthy boundaries that prevent distress from escalating.
Why Boundaries Are Essential During Sensory Overload
Boundaries are limits we set to keep ourselves and others physically, emotionally, and mentally safe. During sensory overload, these boundaries help children feel secure and understood. They can also prevent additional harm, protect relationships, and support regulation.
For children experiencing overload, boundaries may include:
Physical space: A child may need to move away from others or retreat to a quiet, low-stimulus area. Respecting their need for space is key to avoiding further distress.
Reduced communication: Talking to a child during overload may heighten their dysregulation. Respecting their need for silence or non-verbal communication is an important boundary.
Limiting social demands: Pausing eye contact, conversation, or social interactions is not rejection, it's regulation.
Postponing tasks: Pushing through a meltdown to complete a task isn’t supportive. It's okay, and often necessary, to pause expectations.
Supporting Children to Set Their Own Boundaries
Children benefit from learning to identify and communicate their own boundaries, even before they have the language to do so clearly. This is particularly important for neurodivergent children, who may have differences in sensory processing, interoception (awareness of internal body signals), or communication styles.
Here are ways to help children set boundaries during sensory overload:
Use visuals or signals: Create cards, signs, or hand gestures that children can use to express when they are overstimulated or need a break.
Co-create safe spaces: Work with the child to identify a place they can go to feel calm and safe. Let them know they have permission to go there without needing to ask.
Name and normalise the experience: Help children understand that sensory overload is a normal response, not something to be ashamed of. Saying “Your body is telling you it needs a break, and that’s okay” can be validating and empowering.
Offer choices: Empower children by offering two or three sensory-friendly options, such as headphones, a dark tent, fidget tools, or a quiet walk—to support autonomy.
How Adults Can Set Boundaries to Support Regulation
While helping children set their own boundaries is essential, adults also need to be clear and compassionate about their own. This can include:
Explaining limits with kindness: “I want to help, but I can’t do that right now. Let’s take a moment together.”
Managing your own regulation: If you're feeling dysregulated due to the child’s distress, it’s okay to model your own boundary: “I’m going to take a few deep breaths so I can stay calm and help you.”
Protecting other children’s boundaries: Sometimes a child in overload may lash out or take over shared spaces. In these moments, it’s important to step in, kindly and firmly, to protect everyone involved.
Boundaries aren’t about punishment or control—they’re about clarity, safety, and connection. And they’re most effective when they’re created proactively, not just reactively.
Teaching About Sensory Overload in Schools and Communities
As awareness of sensory processing differences grows, more schools and community settings are embracing the importance of sensory-friendly practices. This might include:
Quiet zones or sensory rooms for regulation
Flexible seating options in classrooms
Noise-cancelling headphones available to all children
Staff training to understand sensory needs and support boundary setting
Peer education to help classmates develop empathy and respect for each other’s differences
Educating all children about sensory diversity promotes inclusion and helps everyone become more attuned to the needs of others. It also models that boundaries are not only acceptable, they are essential for healthy relationships and self-care.
Sensory overload isn’t something to fix, it’s something to accommodate. With the right understanding and boundaries in place, children can thrive in their environments, learn to advocate for their needs, and develop a strong sense of self-worth. When we respect a child’s sensory boundaries, we send a powerful message: your experience is valid, your needs matter, and you are safe to be yourself.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors