You Don’t Have to Do Everything Today

Image on Unsplash by Nick Abrams@nbabrams

There is a quiet pressure many of us carry.

It sounds like:
“I should be further ahead.”
“I just need to catch up.”
“If I can get through everything today, I’ll feel better.”

Parents feel it. Professionals feel it. Teenagers feel it. Even primary school children are beginning to absorb it.

The belief that we must do everything today is deeply woven into modern life. And while productivity can feel satisfying, the relentless drive to complete, achieve and tick off every task comes at a cost.

Here is something we gently remind families in our clinic every week:

You don’t have to do everything today.

And more importantly, you were never meant to.

The Myth of “Catching Up”

Many people live with a constant sense of being behind. There are emails unanswered, appointments to schedule, therapy homework to complete, washing to fold, reports to write, lunchboxes to prepare.

The list expands faster than we can reduce it.

In psychology, we often see how this pressure activates the body’s stress response. When we perceive that there is “too much” and “not enough time,” our nervous system shifts into survival mode. We become task-focused, urgency-driven and sometimes irritable. The brain prioritises efficiency over connection.

Over time, this can look like:

• Snapping at loved ones

• Struggling to focus

• Avoiding tasks altogether

• Feeling chronically overwhelmed

• Difficulty sleeping because the mind won’t switch off

Ironically, the more we try to push through and do everything at once, the less effective we often become.

The Nervous System Needs Pacing

Our brains are not designed for continuous output.

The prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for planning, organising, regulating emotions and problem solving - works best when the nervous system feels regulated. When we are overtired, overstimulated or stressed, that higher-order thinking becomes less accessible.

This is why late-night “catch up” sessions often result in work that takes twice as long and feels twice as frustrating.

It’s also why children who are exhausted after school may suddenly seem “unmotivated” to complete homework. Often it’s not defiance - it’s depletion.

Rest is not laziness.
Pausing is not failure.
Spacing tasks out is not weakness.

It is regulation.

What We Accidentally Teach Children

Children learn far more from what we model than from what we say.

If they see adults constantly rushing, multitasking and describing themselves as “behind,” they begin to internalise the idea that worth is linked to productivity.

We then see young people who:

• Panic over minor unfinished tasks

• Avoid starting work because it feels too big

• Stay up late trying to complete everything

• Feel guilty for resting

One of the most protective things we can model is realistic pacing.

When a parent says, “That can wait until tomorrow,” they are teaching:

• Prioritisation

• Boundaries

• Self-compassion

• Sustainable work habits

These are lifelong skills that support mental health well beyond childhood.

Shifting from Urgency to Intention

Instead of asking, “How do I get through everything?” try asking:

• What actually needs to be done today?

• What would make today feel manageable?

• What can I move to tomorrow without real consequence?

Often, the “urgent” list shrinks significantly when we separate anxiety from necessity.

A helpful strategy we sometimes suggest to families is the Rule of Three:

Each day, choose three meaningful tasks.
Complete them well.
Let the rest wait.

This doesn’t mean ignoring responsibilities. It means distributing them across time in a way that supports energy and wellbeing.

Sustainable productivity is far more powerful than frantic bursts of output followed by exhaustion.

The Emotional Cost of “Everything”

When we hold ourselves to impossible daily standards, something subtle happens. We begin ending each day focused on what we didn’t finish.

This reinforces a narrative of inadequacy.

Instead, try ending the day with three different questions:

• What did I move forward?

• Where did I show up?

• What can I intentionally release until tomorrow?

This shift rewires attention toward progress rather than deficiency.

Psychologically, this builds self-efficacy - the belief that we are capable and effective. Self-efficacy is strongly linked to resilience and emotional wellbeing.

When “Doing Nothing” Is Actually Doing Something

Rest allows consolidation of learning.
Sleep strengthens memory and emotional regulation.
Breaks increase creativity.
Downtime supports nervous system recovery.

For children and adolescents especially, unstructured time is critical for development. It supports imagination, social problem-solving and emotional processing.

For adults, rest restores cognitive capacity and reduces burnout risk.

When you choose not to do everything today, you are not falling behind.

You are investing in tomorrow’s capacity.

A Gentle Reminder for Brisbane Families (and Beyond)

In a fast-paced world - especially in busy communities like ours here in Brisbane - it can feel as though everyone else is managing more, achieving more and coping better.

But behind most closed doors are people navigating similar pressures.

You are allowed to move at a human pace.

You are allowed to choose what matters today.

You are allowed to leave tasks unfinished without it meaning anything about your competence, your parenting or your worth.

Life is not a daily exam to be passed.

It is a long-term rhythm to be sustained.

And sometimes the most psychologically healthy sentence you can say is:

“That can wait.”

Authors:
Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist
With You Allied Health Directors