Boundaries in the Event of Sensory Overload: What Adults Need to Know and Do
Image by Nathália Rosa
You're in the supermarket. The lights are too bright, a trolley squeaks nearby, someone’s perfume is overwhelming, your child is talking (or crying), and a stranger’s phone just started ringing… loudly. Suddenly, you can’t think straight. Your body feels tense. You’re irritated, exhausted, and like you need to escape, but you can’t. You’re experiencing sensory overload.
It’s something many adults, particularly those who are neurodivergent or highly sensitive, go through regularly. Yet it’s rarely talked about, especially in the context of parenting. When we think of sensory overload, we often think of children. But adults experience it too. And when we don’t understand it or allow ourselves boundaries, the result is often burnout, frustration, or emotional shutdown.
Whether you're autistic, have ADHD, are highly sensitive, or simply overwhelmed by life’s noise and demands, recognising sensory overload and setting boundaries is key to protecting your wellbeing, and modelling healthy regulation for those around you.
What Sensory Overload Feels Like for Adults
Sensory overload is more than being “a bit stressed.” It’s a state where the brain is receiving more input from the senses than it can process. When this happens, you might:
Feel irritated by sounds, smells, or textures that normally wouldn’t bother you
Become unable to concentrate or think clearly
Snap at others or withdraw completely
Feel physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, or a racing heart
Experience panic, rage, or the urge to flee
For parents, it can be especially tough, because the very things that contribute to overload (noise, unpredictability, constant demands) are often unavoidable parts of daily life with children.
Why Boundaries Are Vital for Adults in Sensory Overload
Many adults push through sensory overwhelm because they think they “should be able to cope.” They feel guilty for needing space, silence, or support- especially when others (like children or partners) are relying on them. But the truth is, everyone has a limit. Ignoring those limits doesn’t make you strong -it leads to dysregulation, disconnection, and eventual burnout.
Setting boundaries helps you:
Protect your nervous system and mental health
Reduce the risk of emotional outbursts or shutdowns
Maintain healthy relationships by communicating needs honestly
Model regulation and self-respect to your children
Signs You Might Need a Boundary Right Now
If you're unsure whether you’re experiencing sensory overload, tune into these signals:
You're clenching your jaw or fists without realising
Background noise feels unbearable
You feel a rising sense of panic, dread, or irritation
You’re easily startled or jumpy
You're mentally rehearsing an escape plan (even if you can’t act on it)
What Boundaries Can Look Like for Adults
Boundaries during sensory overload are not selfish—they’re a necessary form of self-care. Here are some examples:
Stepping away: “I’m going to take five minutes in the bedroom to reset.”
Noise control: Wearing noise-cancelling headphones or asking for reduced volume
Reducing sensory input: Dimming lights, lowering screens, changing into comfortable clothing
Saying no: Turning down invitations or commitments when you’re nearing your limit
Postponing conversations: “I really want to talk about this, but my brain is too full right now. Can we chat later?”
When You're a Parent with Sensory Overload
Parenting while overwhelmed can feel impossible. It can bring immense guilt—especially if you feel you’ve snapped or become distant with your child. But parenting doesn’t mean ignoring your needs.
Here’s what might help:
Name it: “My brain feels full right now. I need quiet so I can be the best version of me.”
Use tools: Create a “recharge routine” with items like a weighted blanket, lavender oil, or soft lighting.
Prep your child: Let them know what your signals are. “If I put my hand on my heart, it means I need some calm time.”
Reassure them: “You haven’t done anything wrong. I just need to take care of my body and brain for a bit.”
Ask for support: If there’s another adult, ask for backup. If you’re solo, a five-minute break is still powerful.
Boundaries Aren’t Barriers—They’re Bridges
Setting boundaries during sensory overload isn’t about pushing others away. It’s about creating space to reconnect more meaningfully once you're regulated. For children especially, it shows that adults also have feelings and needs - and that caring for yourself is something to be respected, not hidden.
It’s also worth remembering that everyone’s sensory profile is different. What overwhelms one person may soothe another. Self-awareness is key. Spend time exploring what contributes to your overwhelm, and what helps you feel grounded.
Building a Sensory-Respecting Environment
You can also reduce the likelihood of overload by adjusting your environment to support your nervous system. Try:
Planning quiet time into your daily routine
Using sensory tools like aromatherapy, movement breaks, or soothing playlists
Saying no more often - and without apology
Limiting multitasking when your system feels overloaded
Connecting with communities that understand neurodivergent or sensory experiences
You deserve care, comfort, and connection just as much as your children do. And when you honour your own boundaries, you’re not only preserving your wellbeing - you’re showing your family that all feelings are valid, and all needs matter.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist - With You Allied Health Directors