Holding Firm Boundaries Around Social Media
Andre Hunter@dre0316 Image on Unsplash
Supporting Your Child as New Laws Come Into Effect on 10 December
From 10 December, new Australian social media laws come into effect, tightening online access for children and young people. While legislation can set an external framework, many parents still face the daily challenges of navigating screens, apps, and online pressures with their children.
And for many families, boundaries around social media can feel uncomfortable - especially when kids are saying “but everyone else is allowed!”
Here’s the truth:
Firm, consistent boundaries aren’t punishment. They’re protection.
And you are absolutely allowed to hold them.
Why Social Media Boundaries Matter
Social media can offer connection, creativity and fun - but it also comes with risks that young brains simply aren’t developmentally equipped to navigate alone. These include:
Exposure to inappropriate or distressing content
Online bullying or exclusion
Pressure to look, act or feel a certain way
Privacy and data collection concerns
Algorithm-driven content that can be addictive or dysregulating
Children and teens still rely heavily on adult co-regulation and guidance. Limits help protect their emotional wellbeing, sleep, mental health, and nervous system development.
When the environment is too big, too fast or too overwhelming, boundaries act as scaffolding - holding kids steady until they can hold themselves.
Boundaries Are Not About Control — They’re About Safety
It’s common for parents to feel guilty when saying “no,” especially when children are upset or when it seems like other families have different rules.
But boundaries communicate three powerful messages:
“You’re worth protecting.”
“Your feelings matter, and I can support them.”
“Your brain and body come first - not an app.”
Remember, there was a time where people thought it was OK to ride in a car without seatbelts, or drink Coca Cola with actual cocaine in it. That’s how life goes sometimes. We try it out, we get the evidence, and then we adjust. Kids may not like limits in the moment, but they do feel safer within them.
How to Set Social Media Boundaries With Confidence
Here are five evidence-informed strategies to help guide your family through the upcoming changes:
1. Start with clarity
Know exactly what the boundary is before you begin the conversation. That might include:
No social media accounts until the legal minimum age
Devices charged outside the bedroom
Only using apps openly and jointly with a parent
Set screen hours that prioritise school, sleep, and family connection
When you are clear and calm, your child knows the limits are safe, predictable and not up for negotiation.
2. Lead with compassion + firmness
Children and teens may feel disappointed, embarrassed, angry or left out — and those feelings are completely valid.
You can acknowledge their emotions while still holding your boundary:
“I can hear how frustrating this feels. The rule still stands because my job is to keep you safe.”
Boundaries paired with empathy help kids learn emotional regulation and trust.
3. Explain the ‘why’ in child-friendly language
Kids don’t need fear-based messaging. They need context they can understand.
Try simple explanations like:
“Some apps collect your private information.”
“Algorithms can show you things that aren’t safe or appropriate.”
“Your brain is still growing, and too much screen time can make it harder to focus, sleep or feel calm.”
“These laws exist to help keep children safe online.”
Children respond best when the “why” feels respectful, age-appropriate and truthful.
4. Offer alternatives that still meet their needs
Saying “no” without offering a path forward can make limits feel harsher than they are. Offer options that support connection and belonging:
Use safe messaging apps with parental oversight
Set up a shared family Minecraft world or creative online space
Encourage offline meet-ups or hobbies
Schedule supervised online time with friends
Create a family media plan
Choice within boundaries builds agency.
5. Keep the conversation open
Boundaries aren’t one-off events - they’re ongoing relationships. Revisit digital wellbeing regularly:
“Anything online felt tricky or confusing this week?”
“How are you feeling about our screen rules lately?”
“Do you need more help with any online friendships?”
Regular check-ins build trust, safety and connection.
A Conversation Script Parents Can Use
Here’s a simple, developmentally-attuned way to start:
“The laws are changing on December 10, and that means we need to make some decisions about social media. My job is to keep you safe, not stop you having fun.”
(State the boundary clearly.)
“I know it might make you feel upset or left out, and that makes sense. I’m here to support you through those feelings. I love you, and this is my way of protecting you.”
This approach blends warmth, boundaries and leadership — exactly what children need from the adults who care for them.
Remember:
Strong boundaries are a form of care, courage and connection. As new social media laws come into place, families have an opportunity to reset, revisit and realign their digital habits in ways that centre safety, wellbeing and the developing brain.
Parents: you’re not being strict.
You’re being protective.
You’re being present.
You’re being exactly what your child needs.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce – Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist – With You Allied Health Directors