The irresistible pull: curiosity, suspense and social comparison
Image by Sam McGhee@sammcghee on Unsplash
At its core, reality TV offers a voyeuristic peek into other people’s lives. How they behave, love, compete and sometimes fall apart. That voyeuristic element satisfies a deep human curiosity: we like to observe, evaluate and learn from others’ choices. The “anything could happen” tension keeps us engaged, releasing small bursts of dopamine that reward our attention and make it hard to switch off.
Then there’s the social comparison factor. Watching people on screen invites us to measure ourselves against them - their looks, relationships, achievements and mistakes. Sometimes this can make us feel better about ourselves (“At least my life isn’t that messy!”), but it can also fuel envy or self-doubt. Either way, the emotional reaction keeps us coming back for more.
And of course, many viewers form what psychologists call parasocial relationships - one-sided emotional bonds with TV personalities who feel like friends. We cheer for them, empathise with them, and feel personally invested in their storylines. Add to that the social element - the group chats, debates, memes and workplace gossip - and you have a show that’s not just television, but a shared cultural event.
Psychological needs, identity and escape
Reality TV appeals to several deep psychological needs.
Escapism. When life feels stressful or predictable, watching someone else’s chaos provides an emotional break. It’s a distraction from our own responsibilities.
Emotional release. We experience tension, excitement, frustration and relief - but safely, from our couch. Reality TV is a low-risk emotional rollercoaster.
Validation and belonging. When we relate to contestants or storylines, we feel seen and understood. This strengthens our sense of social identity and belonging.
Exploration of “what ifs.” We get to imagine how we’d act in similar situations - would we make the same choices? Could we handle that pressure?
Meeting unmet needs. For some, watching romance, friendship or transformation arcs can fill gaps in connection, confidence or excitement in their own lives.
Together, these create a powerful mix of comfort, stimulation and identification - which explains why it can feel genuinely difficult to stop watching.
Why younger viewers are especially drawn in
From a developmental psychology perspective, children and teenagers may be particularly susceptible to the pull of reality TV.
1. The ‘imaginary audience’ effect
Adolescents often feel like everyone is watching and judging them - a normal part of growing self-awareness. This makes them highly attuned to social dynamics, which reality TV provides in abundance.
2. Identity formation
Teens are still figuring out who they are and how they fit in. Reality TV offers endless examples of personalities, values and lifestyles to try on vicariously.
3. Strong parasocial bonds
Because the line between “real” and “performed” feels blurry, young viewers may form stronger attachments to contestants or influencers, feeling personally connected even when the relationship is one-sided.
4. Limited media literacy
Children and adolescents can struggle to understand that what they see is heavily edited, scripted or exaggerated. Without that critical awareness, they may take things at face value - believing certain behaviours, appearances or relationships are “normal” when they aren’t.
These developmental features combine with the entertainment value of reality TV to create a perfect storm for obsession.
The double-edged sword: benefits and risks
The positives
Social connection. Talking about shows can build belonging and community. Shared viewing experiences can bring families and friends closer.
Self-reflection. Viewers can learn from others’ mistakes and reflect on their own values, boundaries and choices.
Representation. When done well, reality TV can highlight diverse experiences, promote empathy, and normalise differences.
The risks
Distorted expectations. Reality TV often glorifies conflict, appearance and instant gratification. Over time, this can skew how we view relationships, success and happiness.
Comparison and self-esteem issues. Seeing idealised bodies, wealth and popularity can fuel self-criticism or insecurity, especially in young viewers.
Emotional contagion. Watching constant drama or confrontation can raise stress levels and normalise unhealthy ways of handling conflict.
Stereotyping. Many shows reinforce gender roles, beauty standards or cultural clichés that don’t reflect reality.
“Parasocial breakups.” When a favourite contestant leaves or acts differently than expected, viewers can feel genuine loss or betrayal.
Whether the impact is positive or negative depends on how mindfully we watch and how much meaning we attach to what we see.
What parents and professionals can do
Parents and clinicians can help children and teens navigate the reality TV world more healthily:
Watch together and talk openly. Ask questions like, “Do you think that scene was real?” or “How do you think that person felt?” to build emotional literacy and critical thinking.
Promote balance. Encourage time away from screens through social, creative or physical activities.
Set boundaries. Help children and teens manage how often and how long they watch.
Teach media literacy. Explain how editing, lighting, and selective storytelling shape what viewers see.
Model self-awareness. Adults who approach reality TV with humour and perspective show children it’s entertainment - not a guidebook for life.
Check emotional impact. If viewing habits start to affect sleep, mood or confidence, it may be time for a screen reset.
Reality TV can be fun, funny and even insightful. But understanding why we get hooked helps us step back from blind consumption and enjoy it more consciously. It’s a reminder that while these shows may mirror parts of human nature, real life — with all its imperfections, quiet moments and authentic connections — remains far more interesting than anything that can be edited for screen.
Authors: Brodi Killen, Stephanie Mace and Samantha Pearce
Educational and Developmental Psychologists and Counselling Psychologist – With You Allied Health Directors